My name is Kevin and I live in Whitstable, Kent (I’m proud of that) and I’ve been doing SEO since the beginning of the internet (1997)


In that time I have mainly specialised in the Online Carpets niche and have made myself a lot of money from being fucking awesome in that arena. I pull the rug from under the competitor’s feet, leaving them lying on the floor, on their back thinking

“I’ve just been owned by an amazing internet force!” (AKA Kevin Bland)

I’ve done some pretty awesome shit over the years with my various online carpet & flooring clients

You can see my portfolio of work here.

Be warned, when my client saw one of these infographics, he came hard into his wife’s mouth that evening.

What makes this amazing is that he has never been able to get a hard on since his sheep sheering holiday in New Zealand back in 1989.